In fact, thats what the original revolution of dating was all about. As I see it, dating is a product of our entertainment-driven, disposable-everything American culture.Long before Seventeen magazine ever gave teenagers tips on dating, people did things very differently.Eric and Jenny probably had good intentions, but they founded their relationship on our cultures defective attitudes and patterns for romance. Dating leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment Jayme was a junior in high school; her boyfriend, Troy, was a senior.Unfortunately, even in their adulthood they continue to reap the consequences. Troy was everything Jayme ever wanted in a guy, and for eight months they were inseparable.At the turn of the twentieth century, a guy and girl became romantically involved only if they planned to marry.If a young man spent time at a girls home, family and friends assumed that he intended to propose to her.
When we broke up it was definitely the toughest thing thats ever happened to me, Jayme told me afterward.I seem to have a knack for picking rusty grocery carts that make clattering noises or ones with squeaky wheels that grate on your nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard. You want to go in a straight line, but the cart wants to swerve to the left and take out the cat food display.But by far the worst kind of cart you could pick is the swerver. (And, much to our dismay and embarrassment, it too often succeeds!Even though theyd never physically gone beyond a kiss, Jayme had completely given her heart and emotions to Troy.Troy had enjoyed the intimacy while it served his needs but then rejected her when he was ready to move on. Perhaps youve heard something similar from a friend, or maybe youve experienced it yourself.Why am I talking to you about shopping carts when this book is about dating?Well, I recall my bad luck with grocery carts because many times Ive experienced a similar battle of wills with dating.Im not talking about conflicts between me and the girls Ive dated. And based on my experiences and my exploration of Gods Word, Ive concluded that for Christians dating is a swerver a set of values and attitudes that wants to go in a direction different from the one God has mapped out for us. Self-control isn't enough I once heard a youth minister speak on the topic of love and sex. rending story about Eric and Jenny, two strong Christians who had actively participated in his youth group years earlier. But as time went by, their physical relationship slowly began to accelerate, and they wound up sleeping together.Eric and Jennys dating relationship had started out innocently? Soon afterward they broke up, discouraged and hurt. But both came to him separately and expressed emotional trauma and guilt over past memories. Some of us had made the same mistake or watched it happen in the lives of our friends. We wanted the pastor to tell us what we were supposed to do instead.The pastor telling the story saw both of them years later at a high school reunion. When I see him, I remember it all so vividly, Jenny cried. When I see her, the hurt comes back, he told his former youth pastor. When the youth minister had finished telling this story, you could have heard a pin drop. But he gave no alternative that afternoon, Evidently the pastor thought the couple's only mistake was giving in to temptation.He seemed to think that Eric and Jenny should have had more respect for each other and more self-control.