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“Would you consider this cheating if I were playing this game? “But we can talk about it more over dinner.” And with that we’re back in the “real” world, leaving a vast population in the virtual universe to chat and caress their way into the night.” I ask, pointing to the trailer on the home page, where Jameson’s digital image appears to be competing in some kind of timed, multi-partner sex decathlon. “Just install the software,” says Sinulate’s web site, “plug in your Interactive Fleshlight, and pick a partner!” Kyle Machulis, operator of slashdong.org, a Web site about the combination of sex and technology and a self-described “tinkerer/hacker/pioneer/visionary in the realm of sex technology,” is a major proponent of open-source teledildonics.“You could walk a couple through a facilitated session,” she says, “while they are in the privacy of their own bedroom.” Cory Silverberg, a sexual health educator and founding member of Come As You Are, an education-based sex store in Toronto, says, “What’s good about cybersex is that it allows people to conceive of new possibilities,” whether that means a disabled person gaining greater access to the sexual sphere or someone “fulfilling their fetish fantasies beyond anything that we could have imagined.” The keys to healthy virtual sex, he says, include consent of all partners, a “sense of good will” (not going out and “trolling and stalking online”), and a respect for boundaries — “making sure that you’re not exposing more real information about yourself than you’re really comfortable with.” Like any technology, though, virtual sex comes with its risks.Kimberly Young, Ph D, who is the founder and director of the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery in Bradford, Pennsylvania, agrees that virtual worlds can allow individuals to explore new types of sexual behavior.But problems arise, she says, when users “lose their ability to control” that behavior.

There are many ways to share sex with people in virtual spaces, and you still have to communicate to the other person what you like and don’t like. That’s part of what turns people on.” From adult video games to instant messaging and chat rooms to web cams to online interactive worlds to Internet-enabled sex toys, the means for enjoying erotic experience via a remote connection seem to be multiplying faster than you can say “teledildonics.” For the uninitiated, teledildonics (or cyberdildonics) refers to sex toys that can be controlled with a computer.I discovered that he's been surfing porn sites and going to chat rooms to have sex with other women online.When I confronted him, he didn't understand why I was upset.I was having sex with a Dutch girl when my wife walked in. “I don’t like the phrase ‘virtual sex,’” Lynn says, “because it trivializes the experience. “It’s not sex but it is sex,” says Regina Lynn, author of The Sexual Revolution 2.0 and a columnist on sex and technology for But, he says, the real-world functionality of computer-enabled sex toys hasn’t really caught up with its potential.“There are some cool ideas that just don’t work in implementation,” he says. I don’t know where the real user was located, but our virtual meeting space within Second Life was called “The Netherlands.” Or maybe “she” was really a he, controlling a female avatar. If it’s not clear already, “virtual sex” can be a little complicated. But there was a real person on a computer somewhere in the world making her avatar have sex with my avatar by clicking a pink ball on the ground.This is a little unfair, I realize, this testing of my spouse’s reactions to my exploration of Internet sex, all in the name of journalism. Q: I made the mistake of clicking on a little email window that popped up on my husband's computer.

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