The first thing we need to face about men is this: they are animals. They may end up valuing her for the "right" things, the things she wants to be valued for. But no matter how strange men are, if you're a woman who wants to meet the right man, you have to clue in to how men think. Men's eyes are always wandering, seeking out that which they could and would impregnate. Shameful attraction Men are, in the first place, looking for "attractive." Now what on earth does that mean? A face that strikes Tom as sexy may look shallow to Harry. So forget about how superficial men may be and realize that they, like you, are hard-wired in mysterious ways, which may or may not be as shallow as you think.(Okay, "think" is a bit of a stretch.) If you try to change men or just don't get them, you'll be stymied -- but if you accept how they are and forgive them and work with them, you will have enormous power and effectiveness. Well, the good news is, it means completely different things to different men -- but it almost always involves a combination of face, and body shape and size. Many men in our culture like slender, athletic female figures -- some men really do, and some say they do, because they are ashamed of admitting anything else to their male peer group. But many men in our culture do not want a slender woman: they want someone with riper curves, someone who is larger, more "Rubenesque." Some men like pear-shaped women; some men like inverted pears. And some men don't really care that much about body size or shape. Ralph may hate a lot of makeup on a woman, while Shawn considers it a turn-on. Even in the realm of extremely good-looking celebrities, you will find a whole gamut of opinions. (Fortunately, many of them don't toe the evolutionary line anyway--apparently their wiring has come loose.) Take faces, for example.I'm not saying he is sexually insecure: indeed, with the right woman he may be easygoing, studly and confident.
Today what we’ll talk about is sexual markets – the places you can go to stand the best possible chance of having your efforts to meet and get somewhere with women go as seamlessly and easily as humanly possible.So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating.After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website.Shall we blame him for thinking this is good news for her too?Intimidation and Attraction: A Short Vignette It's lunchtime.I mean this in the most literal way: he wants to know whether in your presence he might be unable to perform.The average male who is old enough and mature enough to want to marry has realized that sex is not always a triumph.It isn't like a vegetable stand, where a man can say, "I'll take this onion here, not these others," and the onion has nothing to say about it. I knew a guy who got very turned on by a woman's handshake, if it was "as strong as a man's." His friends told him he was in the closet, but he stuck to his guns. Surely the cultured, educated, spiritual (yet masculine) man of your dreams doesn't look only at the outside of a woman.What we're talking about is, how do men pick out which women they are going to try for. All this may strike the sensitive, intelligent woman as superficial, even offensive. "True beauty is on the inside," women cry out from the salons of the world.But we will focus on a topic of more practical interest: in the real world, how do men actually choose women? If you make it difficult to be seen -- for instance, if you sit in the back booth with shades on -- you stop Step One from happening. (Note that being seen is particularly crucial -- and achievable -- if you are trying to meet Mr. Women are programmed by evolution to choose men based on their father potential, which is closely associated with status in the group -- what we now call money and power.We will take a clear-eyed look at that question, and maybe we will find that the truth has some redeeming qualities. They don't proceed in a politically correct, enlightened way to select a woman. Evolution wants the mating process to succeed, and so it makes sure that men home in on that which will be conducive to success, regardless of how unrefined this strategy may be. "Well, it's because the genes that triggered that kind of behaviour had the best chance of survival down through the ages, until all the men who were left had those genes." In other words, an obsession with reproduction leads to a better reproductive score . Right online.) Now let us ask, what are men looking for? If you're feeling cynical, your answer may be, "Cameron Diaz." Or if you happen to look like Cameron Diaz, your equally discouraged answer may be "Kiera Knightly." But this is so wrong it is laughable. A face that strikes one man as masculine may seem feminine to another. Men -- regardless of their conscious attitude to having kids--are designed to look for good reproducers; a low waist-to-hip ratio of around .70 signifies "likely to be a success at bearing children." (Larger waists relative to the hips have been linked to lower estrogen levels, less body fat available to sustain pregnancy and lower fertility.) And in both sexes, facial beauty is associated with grace, intelligence, popularity and, in general, fitness for survival.