Modern men are not constrained by “gender-appropriate” hobbies.And they don’t need to practice careless immaturity to feel free. Not only does Matthew has to iron his own shirts, he also spends hours ironing my stuff.Matthew is extremely loyal and very family orientated. The modern man does not have to re-affirm his masculinity by indulging in messy sexual encounters.I don’t actually know how things were “in the olden days”. Well, it with my feet and then…so it is not all that platonic! His giving does not depend on what I can or fail to offer. I get flowers, chocolates, sweet text messages and cards, candle-lit dinners and foot massage!The well-being of other people, his friends, colleagues or complete strangers, is his priority. In his version of the “man’s world”, men can express themselves in whatever way they like.And, yes, this world would be nothing without a woman.
This means being flexible and going beyond the rigid definitions of gender roles in any given culture.The other day, a very attractive female friend of his, sent him a suggestive text claiming she didn’t believe in monogamy. He is still thirsty for “hot stuff” (and can easily get it these days) but doesn’t see it as his only mission or sole purpose in life.This one is referring to the apparent lack of communication skills in men. But when it comes to “making a home”, he is an expert and I’m completely useless. This implies that a “real man” is only interested in food and other things that feed his animal appetites. But, if a friend asks for help, he’ll gladly do a perfect DIY job at their house. Hence, the modern man can meet his own needs and is keen to provide for the needs of others because he cares. The modern man is more than capable of making a home as well as a house. It drives him insane but he does it anyway and would rather be doing that than DIY. He’s got a whole bunch of drills and other fancy equipment but will never use any of it.On the other hand, I am a lot more “grown up”, when it comes to spending money.Partly, because I hate shopping (so Matthew has to do this “woman’s” task too).He is a great listener as well as an eloquent speaker. He looks after his diverse team giving equal attention and support to all men – regardless of their views, background, culture or sexuality.People come to him for advice and a bit of counselling and walk away feeling they’ve been heard and nurtured. His own understanding of masculinity is not limited to the straight-white-middle-class discourse.They supposedly struggle to express their emotions and are not great at reading and responding to other people’s feelings.This wisdom certainly also doesn’t apply to Matthew and I.