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Dating someone who was sexually abused as a child

Not everyone who was abused as a child reacts as Haney does, preferring casual sex.

dating someone who was sexually abused as a child-38dating someone who was sexually abused as a child-83

"I couldn't say what I wanted to, and he got frustrated." The impact of childhood sexual abuse on adult intimacy varies from person to person, but experts say Haney's relationship troubles are not uncommon.

Every survivor is different, and they each process trauma in a different way.

ATTN: spoke to three survivors of sexual assault, along with Melanie Carlson, the Client Services Coordinator at Doorways for Women and Families, a domestic violence shelter that also provides support to victims of sexual assault, over email about their advice on how to best support a survivor.

It takes a lot of courage to recount sexual trauma, and survivors experiences are extremely varied."You may never know that someone you're dating has experienced sexual assault," Carlson said.

"Some people may never disclose, some people may tell you years into your relationship, and others may be very open and upfront about it.

250 comments

  1. Dec 29, 2014. “I don't get it. What happened to her has nothing to do with me and our life together.” — “She's using this as an excuse because she doesn't want to have sex.” — “How could it be that traumatic for her now? She was having sex with me just fine when we were dating.” — “I am not an abuser. I am a guy trying.

  2. Even in developed societies, women – especially when young – are prone to sexual abuse, whether at the hands of strangers, acquaintances or worst of all family members. Such traumatic experiences are bound to leave an impact on their emotional lives for all time to come. So if you have been dating a woman who has.

  3. Apr 25, 2016. "You may never know that someone you're dating has experienced sexual assault," Carlson said. Alison*, a 37-year-old writer and mother living in Seattle, told ATTN that she was sexually abused by her father as a child, and she wasn't sexually intimate with a partner until she met her husband, at 29.

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