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There are also times when I feel like my white partners are trying to overcompensate for their whiteness. Does it give them a sense of moral superiority around other white people, as if they are more progressive?

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Within my own family, I had two gay uncles who died of AIDS-related illnesses before I was 10.

As a dark-skinned Black man, I have faced both overt and subtle instances of racism from white gay men.

The ways in which I have been objectified and fetishized by them has often made me feel that I’m only good enough for sex and not for a relationship.

I’ve received messages that said, "I love BBC," or "I never been with a Black guy before," or, on the opposite end of the "no Blacks" spectrum, I've seen white men who are "not into white guys, sorry."When I'm dating a white man, I occasionally feel like I need to confront the issue of race head-on and acknowledge the difference in life experiences between me and my partner.

It can be frustrating, but also deeply enriching, to teach someone about my cultural upbringing.


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