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, would be one long beer commercial, filled with good friends! Part 1Chances As these novels invariably start out, Mc Carthy's early years were happy ones. Instead, to hear her tell it, Mc Carthy's life has been more like a Jackie Collins novel.Otherwise, she goes to church, she reads Mc Carthy's mother clearly adores her daughter: "Jenny was always high-spirited, just a sweet little thing. And she always had a real pretty quality about her." Once she put her daughter in a "cutest baby" contest: "She didn't win, and I was, like, shocked. ' " Turns out they picked "some little boy in a train engineer's outfit," she says disgustedly. I mean, he was a year old, and he was hit the stands, Mc Carthy packed up a U-Haul and drove straight for Los Angeles. These are high people in the industry that I will never name. "Sometimes he would say, ' I have an itch.' I'd have to scratch him off camera."Manzella enters the room and reminds her about a future project.Soon after she arrived, she was crowned Playmate of the Year. They would say things like, ' You have to have dinner with me in order to make it in this town.' " Not without a struggle. "What I've come up with," he says, "is which is going to be a two-CD compilation of bona fide summer hits from the '60s, '70s and '80s – two CDs, 12 songs each.""Summer hits," Mc Carthy says.This may sound like champagne wishes and caviar dreams, but here is the reality: conventions, signings, store openings, nonstop traveling ("Fly coach to France for dinner with some stupid guy, then dinner in L. with some other stupid guy") and, finally, "learning how to deal with feminists." Still, she says, she owes "They taught me the work ethic." Mc Carthy even briefly lived at the Playboy Mansion, but it is no longer the garish fun house peopled by the likes of James Caan and Barbi Benton. "' California Dreamin'.' Sorry, Ray.""I like when you interject," he says. We're also going to have Jenny in a yellow polka-dot bikini poster with the two CDs for .95."Now it's very '90s, very calm," Mc Carthy says."Jenny is a very special lady, and we're proud of her," says Hugh Hefner, phoning from said mansion. The TV campaign is going to be her driving a car with a Priscilla Presley beehive – 1960s.""I change the channel, then I go into a different era," Mc Carthy says. "That's what's making me pumped on it, because it's cool.""So we're going to have a contest," says Manzella.

coal.' "Free at last, Mc Carthy headed for Southern Illinois University. "Usually they're crowded around me and pressing up against me," she says, "and it's so hot. "The guys all wanted to be reincarnated into me." She pauses.And ever since we got to know each other's souls and stuff, there's been no age gap."Shockingly, Mc Carthy has basically had three boyfriends in her life – one of whom she was engaged to."I'm the worst person to tell anybody how to date," she says.Mc Carthy, bearing the cross of being pretty and blue collar, was immediately shunned."Let me tell ya, it was like Cell Block H," she says."But my husband and I said, ' We'll support her.' At least she wasn't in We knew she was using it as a steppingstone. News cameras surrounded the grounds of Mother Mc Auley. Because I will be back, and I will have made it.' "c Carthy's House (1 br, deck, fplce) sits right on the beach near Malibu. You see – and there is no easy way to put this – Jenny Mc Carthy has a boyfriend."Hi! At her feet snuffles Jo Jo, a chubby, amiable bulldog named after Mc Carthy's sister Joanne.As well she did."When word of Jenny's achievement hit Chicago, the townsfolk were slightly less understanding. "I look at the news," says Mc Carthy, "and I see my principal and all the nuns screaming at the news cameras, pushing and hitting them to get out of the school. Parked at the end of its sun-dappled walkway is a shiny black Mercedes coupe. She has a red Mitsubishi 3000GT that she got for winning Playmate of the Year. A television is always on, and the phone is constantly ringing. The muffled sound of wheeling and dealing comes from an office near the doorway. Angels in different forms are scattered throughout the house. " She opens the fridge, which contains only condiments (the freezer, only french fries, buffalo meat and vodka). Her favorite joke: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Her favorite pickup line: "I was in this bar on spring break with my girlfriends, and I was drinking my beer with a straw.As she puts it, "I'm not trying to be a supermodel up there. Basically the kids come to gaze at Mc Carthy, glom freebies and schmooze. ' As if she's a shipment of crank or something." eyed Mc Carthy. "No one has come up to the office before.""I talked to her for 15 minutes," Mc Carthy says, "and she said, ' Why don't you take a Polaroid?In fact, I make a complete jackass out of myself." She yells her lines. Onstage a not-altogether-healthy energy is building as a sideburned announcer, standing next to a board marked Body, Nose, Hair Length, Intelligence, Commitment and Body Hair, further riles up the twitching, hooting contestants. "I gave my card out to a few people," says Michael, 23. ' Three days later, I'm Miss October 1993."I'm not trying for sym-pathy, but as an example, for your birthday, the girls would decorate your locker and put Dunkin' Donuts inside. Everybody knew it was my birthday, and nothing would be there." Occasionally, Mc Carthy's classmates would enlist male friends to call Tony, her boyfriend."They'd say, ' I fucked Jenny last night,' " says Mc Carthy, whispering the An eternity passed, and it was time for graduation.


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