In general, allow your friend and your sweetheart to decide how much contact they want with each other, and don't push them to associate if they're not into it.
Remember that you can love them both without them necessarily having to enjoy each other.
It’s not a fun experience to go through and if it’s happening to you, here’s a cyber hug.
Also, here’s an explanation of what it REALLY feels like when your best friend dates your ex, in GIFs.
You’re dating this awesome guy and you’re happy and in love. You spend a lot of time ranting about her to anyone who will listen, you don’t care if they don’t want to hear it. For some reason, your ex-BFF gets mad at YOU for talking about her so much. When you run into them anywhere, you want to run the other way.
Then, for some reason or another, you guys break up. You try hanging out with new friends but mainly feel miserable and alone. You can’t understand why every other friend isn’t mad at her. But even though you’re furious with both of them, you still miss both of them so much and you hate it.
It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight.
Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a 10-minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista.
However, in order to maintain a healthy relationship with both of them, it's crucial that you never seem even a little like you're taking sides in their breakup or casting either one as the bad guy, even months or years after the fact.You’re like: You ask her about it and she’s like, “Oh, yeah, we have this in common, blah blah blah,” and you try to be cool about it but inside you’re like… You start to freak out, wondering what is going on. She promises you she would never betray you like that and swears nothing shady is happening. At first she’s so supportive and nice and says all the right encouraging things. She swears once again that nothing is happening between them, but you don’t believe her. A few days later, you see her write on his Facebook wall and you’re so mad you don’t know what to do. Then, out of nowhere, she starts to get weird about it whenever you bring up his name. A few weeks later, you find out (somehow) that she’s been really friendly with your ex. If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point.Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you've found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life.They wholeheartedly believe that it's wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they'd never talk to that person again.They believe this is something everybody knows, that they're just following the rules.They dated casually for a few weeks before they split up and we got together, and three years later the same friend gave one of the readings at our wedding.Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or not into labels, dating a friend's ex can absolutely be done without sacrificing your friendship — you just have to follow a few simple guidelines.1. It's common to assume that anything shared with you is by default shared with your partner as well; however, your friend might be much less comfortable speaking to you in confidence if she thought the details of her personal life were going to be relayed to someone who used to share her toothbrush.