Again I believe your loving emotional connection with your child is probably the single most important thread linking your child to sanity.
However, we have to work hard not to let our emotional involvement color our perception of the reality of what is going on with our children.
Our unusual path to recovery is described in In writing this summary I hope to pass on to other conscientious parents what I learned, so that others may benefit from my experience.
To fully understand my journey as the parent of an addict, I invite you to read the book.
Getting out of denial is the necessary first step both for your healing and for developing your potential for helping your child.
As parents we are emotionally involved with our children. Some will tell you that you aren’t objective and therefore shouldn’t try to help; don’t get shamed into inaction by that accusation.
These steps do not depend on following any particular spiritual path; they are universal.
Listen to (but also check out the stories of) school officials or friends or neighbors who report a problem to you.But, if your child is abusing drugs, then likely the drugs have hijacked the child you love and turned him into someone you barely recognize.You have to see his behavior as it is now, not as you would like it to be.You will have to un-learn some natural parental responses that are actually unhelpful in parenting an addicted child.But in the end, you are still the person who knows your child best, and therefore, you are the one who can best help your child.Check out their stories by talking with their school, office, or friends.If your child is living at home I would strongly recommend getting home drug tests and testing her regularly (but unpredictably) as a condition for living in your house.I consulted many different experts in addiction but, in the end, I had to become my own authority, to trust my own heart and its deepest wisdom.When you have a troubled child, you will get all kinds of advice from others.If you are uncertain about their drug use/abuse, look for the signs.If they are abusing drugs, they will likely: lie, hide, minimize or justify their drug use, try to manipulate you for favors and money, want you to bail them out of jams, have erratic hours and sleepless nights, have a roller-coaster emotional life with many interpersonal dramas, lose or be unable to get a job, or start doing poorly or failing in their school work, and likely will steal from you and others.