I don’t believe there are feelings of love and attraction that “have to” be acted upon. There are some things I can’t get past, though, when I read your letter.
I don’t believe in “it just happened.” “It” happens because people make it happen. A) Of all the women in the world he chose to date your mom and of all of the gin joints in the world he chose to take her to your regular hangout. What are the chances that they didn’t see you or know you were there?
It was my mother and, from the way they looked at each other and were touching, I could tell instantly that it was more than a friendly lunch; they were quite obviously in love with each other.My mother is the one having long talks with my husband at night, or going to a nice restaurant with him or the theatre and I am at a grubby pub every night with my alcoholic lover.I have started stalking them, sitting in the car down the street from our house, drinking vodka from the bottle, and watching them come out hand in hand to play tennis in the courts down the street or go out to dinner.I went to the toilet and threw up and then I dragged my lover out of the pub and went straight to the off-licence where I bought a litre bottle of vodka and drank it at his house until I passed out.I can’t help but feeling betrayed by my mother and my husband.I have had a string of long-term affairs and short-term flings.During the past 8 months I have basically been living with another man in a neighbouring town to the one I live in.It sounds to me like you left him, slowly, on the installment plan, and then he decided to hasten the end by setting everything on fire, including the bridges. When you agreed to an open marriage, did you both envision a situation where either or both of you would move out for long periods of time?And, maybe there’s a reason you never want to be at home where he is lately? ) I have so many questions, like, do you hang out, ever? What does “normal” or “the desired outcome” for your marriage look like to y’all? Is there a compelling reason to stay married to him, beyond say, the legalities or force of habit?My husband would be disgusted with the way I have let myself go and would probably refuse to have sex with me but he’s happily screwing my mother now and enjoying her perfect body. I would love to put an end to their happy little relationship.It is sick that my mother stole her daughter’s husband and I despise her for that.